Vertigo

I was in the 6th and final 6.5 mile loop; it was about 2:30 in the morning.  I had just downed the last 8 ounces of a Starbucks Frappuccino, some blue Gatorade; a few bites of potato dipped in salt and 2 chunks of dill pickle… the final bit of fuel to get myself to the end of this 39 mile test.   And I was stalled!!!  Could not start running, my stomach was full of liquids and gunk, telling me, “if you even think you are going to pick up the pace….. We will give you other plans!”  Two choices: hike and hope it gets better or turn around and go back to the Start/Finish line and call it a night.  How did I get here, again?

My Arizona running, while it has been an almost exclusive singular pursuit, with exception to when Amelia (2) comes along, has been some of the most rewarding, thought provoking, reflective and meditative activities I have ever taken on in my life.  I always say this… “That many have gone to the desert in particular times in their life (think Biblical) not necessarily because they wanted to, but because they NEEDED to.  The awe and wonder that you can get out here by being truly engaged in the sunrise or sunset, or in “the warm smell of colitas rising up through the air”.  It’s magical. That is if you can break away from the fact your hair is on fire…literally on fire.   I love running on my local paved trail, which I still refer to as the Monon. (Our old rail trail in Indy, which is takes its name from a Potawatomi word for “swift running”.  I love running up on the hills and mountains.  Anywhere, it’s my medicine, it’s my brainstorming place, it’s my meditation… it’s my prayer.

Slowly, but surely I have been jumping into some races out here.  I ran a bold 50K in the mountains behind my house.  I trained hard, ran smart, and with 2 miles to go I gave it all I had up the final mountain climb, in an effort to bag a momentous 15^th place!  However, like an engine out of oil I seized half way up.  The guys that smartly hiked gave me the nod… like it was a good effort, “Sorry you blew up, but we’ll be passing you now!”  I find no shame in playing as hard as you can!

The Vertigo Night Run 63K (roughly 39 miles) was held out in White Tank Mountain Park… or jus the White Tanks.  Living in Chandler, I have only gotten out that way a few times, not to run, but every time, I saw that range and thought that was some place to get to.  So when I saw this race, I was instantly intrigued.    I am training for some goals in the fall… and this mileage, the course and the fact that it was being held at night (5 am) cut-off had me sold.   The race is held by a Company (AravaipaRunning), whose races I really enjoy.  Its owned by  two brothers, who are inspiring runners: and that translates and ebbs from the races they hold.  They always have great swag, good food, and they know what a good course is!

The one question left to answer at the starting line, was something I gleaned off a much better runner than myself…am I ”participating” or am I “competing” in this race.  There is a definite difference.  You need to go out there and decide, am I going out to do my best, or am I just going out to chill, knock  out the miles, eat some M&M and be groovy.  Now when I say compete, make no mistake this plow horse is under no delusions that he will make the run for the Roses, BUT can I push myself, lay it all on the line… and pass that very last bugger that might just happen to be in front of me.  Playing hard is half the fun….   Each and every time, I pay my money; I answer that question… and because I am paying, usually means I’m racing!

So the race started at 7:00 pm, I have been doing most of my running and especially long runs at night, not going much past midnight, but I figured it would be K for close.  I didn’t get a final read at the temp, but I think the car was showing in the low 100’s.  Its funny after one year living in the desert, the heat was the last thing I was thinking about.   I’ll be honest and say that trails at night and stepping on a Diamondback has been more my preoccupation.  But with an 8 dollar upgrade to my pre-purchased lamp and the thought that there will be a bunch of people running on the 6.5 mile loop, I reassured myself that the coast would be clear.  

I don’t know what fast people do, but my mental approach to one of these races is to just stay in the present, don’t try to think out to mile 35; you are here at the start… no more.  I have an inner Tyler Durden about to put lye on my hand, yelling at me “Don’t go to center, this is you pain, embrace it”   So that’s what I focused on… and frankly, it’s not as bad as lye on your hand!  The race starts and I search for a rhythm.   The sun is still up, it will be gone in an hour, I keep my steps as light as a 200 pounder can… keeping the cadence up.   The trail is nice and wide, it’s a mountain bike sprint course, or something like that, so as I survey the land and just tell myself that someone is able to get a bike around this place so it can’t be too bad.   It isn’t too bad, it’s runnable, and once the darkness comes, it will cool down a little and should get nice! 

One lap down, and the sun was setting, the sweat was evaporating nicely, keeping all systems good and functioning.   I have gotten to a point where I just carry water with me if I know aid stations are within reach.  I find if I carry Gatorade or anything like that,  I take in too much and that just turns my stomach, I go with the plan of picking what I want at the stop, and then just have water for carrying.   It works well because I never have this “panic” that there is some magic solution I “must” have!  The first 2 laps I knock out in 1:07 and 1:10, respectively.  (A little more than 10:25 minute/mile pace)  I felt fine the whole time through laps 3 and 4, though I do have to confess to at times the Angel on my shoulder was telling me it was “OK, to bag it for the night, and go get some fries and a chocolate shake.  But instead I told her that we just need to get through the Marathon mark.    If I got that far, I won’t want to quit…..Riiiiiight!!!!!   

In one of the more awesome none running related happenings… I saw a giant fireball coming down from the sky… like picture the moon on fire flying across the sky.  I really had no ability to express how cool it was to  the blessed guys working the aid station.  (Bless you guys) But it was like the Almighty coming down and saying you will stay out here and finish this Race!   So I come into the end of my 4^th lap a little pumped up.  Instead of fueling up on the blue Gatorade, and rest of my Starbucks Frappuccino that I had packed in my drop bag, I read a text from Rose, that the kids seemed to be pretty much in good shape.   So with that concern out of my mind I darted out on to the course with 2 full water bottles and no other calories… with 4 miles to the next aid station.  

I got back out onto the trail and 5 minutes in, realized what I did.   I have to tell you, it was not an easy lap.   Not that a handful of gummi worms was going to make it better.  But I think the thought process of knowing you’re out of gas and you have nothing to fuel up with, while proceeding onto your 30^th mile, starts to weigh on you.   So it wasn’t pretty.  My fifth lap, I came in around 1:35; almost a half hour slower than my first.   So what did I do to get ready for the 6^th and final lap? I OVERCOMPENSATED.  I chugged the blue stuff and got crazy on the Frappuccino… oh and yeah, pickles seemed like a good choice!  So there I was trudging back onto the course.  Full bloated gut, cursing myself! (But at least I wasn’t sleepy!)  I stopped for one second, starred at the brilliant starry Arizona sky and made the quick decision of either to head the hell back or start “hiking” forward till I could run again. 

I chose the latter, in about 10 minutes I was able to get my legs back under me.  And at this point in the race I seemed to be the only person out there… just me, on a dark trail trying not to wake up a rattlesnake.   I dug in and got across the line… at about 4:00am, 9 hours and 5 minutes.   It wasn’t the pace that I hoped or thought I could pull off, but being that 34 started the race, and only 14 completed all 6 loops… I must have done something right.   For a Dad of 3 that has to work, travel, cut the grass, blow-off the rocks… or whatever the hell you’re supposed to do with desert scape,  I’m proud of the effort.   Now back to running with Boo Boo and listening for the Almighty, as I train for the next adventure!

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