"Running over the same old ground, what have we found the same old fears?"

I've been working on this post for the last two and a half years.  The story would get a little long in the tooth if I dug in too hard, so let's leave it with this... it's difficult to put into words my running time in Arizona. Lots of experiences and indescribable scenery. Great races and great people! But many challenges.

What I was looking at when my ankle went.

In December '13, a few months after my last blog entry, I ran in a 50 mile race.  Things were going well till at mile 9, while gazing at Four Peaks,  I twisted my ankle rather severely.  And for whatever dumb reason, I decided to gut out the next 41 miles, which resulted in...no, not a broken left ankle, but an internally jacked up right hip from compensating for it.  I spent all of 2014 dealing with this injury  There were times, during trips to the Neuromuscular  Therapist, whose job it was to torture my hips, back and legs, to try to get me bits and pieces of relief, that I thought, 
this might make for an interesting piece of writing." But frankly, I was just too down, and wondering if this thing would ever get better.




1st Place in the "Runners with Beer T-shirts" Division!

Even though, over the course of the 2014,  I still ran races, (Lost Dutchman Marathon, Coldwater Rumble 20 miler, a few odds and ends) I  just wasn't  having much fun with it.  Fast forward to the start of 2015,  the hip was a little better but still not 100%.  We had just gotten word that our move to Indianapolis was approved and realizing I was down to a 5 or 6 months left in Arizona, I decided I HAD to give a go at 100 miler.  Need less to say, I was poorly prepared. I gave it my best, and my best got me about 65 miles through desert mountains.   By the time I quit, my feet were raw, like sand paper had been taken to them... I had an ear ache that made any wind, let alone an iPod excruciating.  Plus, I was just tired, hungry, defeated, and the only thing I wanted was a couple Quarter Pounders and a chocolate shake.  As I dipped the first fry into the chocolaty goodness, I came this realization...

IF YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING GREAT, YOU NEED 2 THINGS:

1.  A desire to accomplish your goal that is greater than the goal itself.
2. Training or preparation that is so good, that quitting is not even an option.

It may seem simplistic, but breaking down a goal usually is.  Think about it, if you want to attain something, anything, your desire for it must be all you can envision.  If you don't have it,  doubt, or just plain disinterest will creep in.  That happened to me... I simply didn't care enough.   By the time I got back to parking lot, with 60 plus miles on my legs,  I could care less about finishing.  I was beat.  That mental edge is everything...or at least a high percentage of everything!

As for training, I knew my lead up was not good enough, but I hoped that maybe all the miles I had done over the years had to amount for something.  It didn't.   You can't fake it. Miracles don't happen on race day!

My home field, San Tan Mountains

But in the end I just loved running in the desert. so it was worth giving it a try.  No regrets. There's many worse fates in life than not getting a 100 mile race crossed off your bucket list... but the dream is still out there.   I have so much to still mentally unpack about our time in Arizona.  As I am back running in the very familiar Indianapolis public trail system, I've been able to really appreciate the places that I got to see, the people that I met.  One thing I came away with, is that, I don't care how tough you are, the desert is tougher.  And to be able to say you spent time out there, watch the sun rise and set, to have had the indescribable smell of a trail, right after one of the rare rains... is something I'll treasure for the rest of my life.    It felt so free, like you were the only person out in that inhospitable world, moving, breathing, burning.  Truly,  some of the most spiritual moments of my life have come out on those Arizona trails.  I'll forever have it ingrained on my soul.  


Add caption

And it's something...an openness to experience, that I bring back with me to Indiana.  Now its time to get back to running well.  The winter beard is fully grown in, ready to battle with my new Arctic terrain!